


Who needs memories?

by laura_sommeils



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Atsumu is a contradiction even to himself, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:41:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26398054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laura_sommeils/pseuds/laura_sommeils
Summary: Atsumu Miya doesn’t need memories, but he’s made of them. Of their creation, of the slow build up to the present, of the way they gradually pile up until they overflow like a river and become his future.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 10
Kudos: 26





	Who needs memories?

Atsumu Miya doesn’t need memories, he lives in the now, in the next play. His existence is defined in the chasing of new methods, of a new thrill, his heart stills in the seconds in which the crowd goes silent when he’s about to unleash a new serve.

His routine consists of early trainings, the ache of muscles, the satisfaction of his spikers overcoming the unknown. Phone calls that end up either with fraternal bickering or soft words of reassurance, depending of whom is at the other side of the line. Stretching his sore shoulders in the balcony, surrounded by pots filled with basil, thyme and cosmos; the labels written with a calligraphy that isn’t his, that’s too careful, too focused in the flow of the words engraving the wood. Minced tuna when he feels like treating himself, tofu hamburgers or onigiri when he misses home too much.

Atsumu Miya doesn’t think he needs memories, but there are some of them, only just a few, he can’t live without.

The first time he called Kita-san “Shinsuke”, the way his eyes searched for amber to make sure it was ok, if it was something he was granted access to. If devotion was spelled in a gentle brushstroke and the slight prickling of foxtail grass against his arms when he visited the farm. In the manner in which Kita’s hands found their way towards Atsumu’s cheeks, rough palms cupping his face while Atsumu breathed in the scent of cut lavender. 

Sometimes he wonders if memories can become a holy object. Something he can give form and protect. If memories are composed of Kita awakening by his side when the sun still hasn’t come out, Atsumu reaching for him and Shinsuke kissing his palm before saying “Sleep for a little more, I’ll check on the weather and come back in a second”.

Atsumu has a lot of memories he carries, some are made of fabric, two black jerseys with the number 1, one that says Miya and the other Kita. And a red one, it says “Miya 11” on the back and, when he goes to battle with it, he feels he can fulfill a promise that began as a weapon but ended up as a lifeline.

Other memories are given form. They solidify over time, they’re an Onigiri shop and a farm back in Hyōgo, a volleyball that has the synthetic leather skin peeling off it but it’s the first one his parents had bought for him.

Atsumu Miya doesn’t need memories, but he’s made of them. Of their creation, of the slow build up to the present, of the way they gradually pile up until they overflow like a river and become his future.

**Author's Note:**

> This fict started after I finished re-reading chapter 391 and I realized that Atsumu's mental image of Kita framed by their school flag wasn't of the day in which they lost against Karasuno, but the day in which they took the team photo. In that chapter Atsumu says that he agrees with what the flag says, and remembers that Kita disliked the message behind it. And, even though Atsumu says he approves of it, what he says after his success is "all I need are my muscles". What Kita meant when he said "I still have my muscles" was: loosing can't erase the years of practice, the effort, the memories. Muscles are built on every day training.   
> When Atsumu is discouraged by his new serve not going well, is Osamu's food that comforts him, food that becomes part of his "muscles", rice that nourishes him and that was grown by Kita.   
> All of those thoughts made me want to write this fic, and I hope you enjoyed reading it! :)


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